The following is a letter released today by Lloyd Blankfein, the chairman of banking giant Goldman Sachs:<\/p>\n
Dear Investor:<\/p>\n
Up until now, Goldman Sachs has been silent on the subject of the protest movement known as Occupy Wall Street.\u00a0 That does not mean, however, that it has not been very much on our minds.\u00a0 As thousands have gathered in Lower Manhattan, passionately expressing their deep discontent with the status quo, we have taken note of these protests.\u00a0 And we have asked ourselves this question:<\/p>\n
How can we make money off them?<\/p>\n
The answer is the newly launched Goldman Sachs Global Rage Fund, whose investment objective is to monetize the Occupy Wall Street protests as they spread around the world.\u00a0 At Goldman, we recognize that the capitalist system as we know it is circling the drain \u2013 but there\u2019s plenty of money to be made on the way down.<\/p>\n
The Rage Fund will seek out opportunities to invest in products that are poised to benefit from the spreading protests, from police batons and barricades to stun guns and forehead bandages.\u00a0 Furthermore, as clashes between police and protesters turn ever more violent, we are making significant bets on companies that manufacture replacements for broken windows and overturned cars, as well as the raw materials necessary for the construction and incineration of effigies.<\/p>\n
It would be tempting, at a time like this, to say \u201cLet them eat cake.\u201d\u00a0 But at Goldman, we are actively seeking to corner the market in cake futures.\u00a0 We project that through our aggressive market manipulation, the price of a piece of cake will quadruple by the end of 2011.<\/p>\n
Please contact your Goldman representative for a full prospectus.\u00a0 As the world descends into a Darwinian free-for-all, the Goldman Sachs Rage Fund is a great way to tell the protesters, \u201cOccupy this<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 We haven\u2019t felt so good about something we\u2019ve sold since our souls.<\/p>\n Sincerely,<\/p>\n Lloyd Blankfein<\/p>\n Chairman, Goldman Sachs<\/p>\n (actually from here<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The following is a letter released today by Lloyd Blankfein, the chairman of banking giant Goldman Sachs: Dear Investor: Up until now, Goldman Sachs has been silent on the subject of the protest movement known as Occupy Wall Street.\u00a0 That … Continue reading