Why not just give up?

Warning: painfully grumpy post ahead. I’ll probably recant from parts of it tomorrow, if the antibiotics do their work.

First, if you haven’t already read about it, read the story of the Rev Dr Tom Ambrose here, and then read Ruth Gledhill’s blog about it here. In particular, do read some of the comments after the deposition, and pray for Tom and his family.

OK. Regular readers will know that I’ve struggled a) with the workload of this job and b) a (much milder) version of what Tom’s been through, which has largely run its course, thanks be to God. Yet there are lots of continuing niggles, vexations and disappointments (ie me disappointing others) which wear down the soul, and in the last few days I’ve had one of those ‘straw on the camel’s back’ moments about one vastly minor parish matter which has caused offence. And frankly I’m fed up, and wondering what the point of it all is.

Let me be clear. Despite rumours of heresy I am more convinced than ever that Jesus of Nazareth is the word made flesh, that in him is life in all its fullness. It’s not Christianity I doubt; it’s not the wondrous nature of worship and sharing faith that I doubt. It’s whether the Church of England fails the Ichabod test (and I would also distinguish between Anglican theology as a whole and the Church of England as an institution in particular). Is it time to abandon ship? That’s not the same as abandoning congregations (in that sense the congregation is the ship) but there is a sense that, as Gramsci wrote, ‘The old is dying and the new cannot yet be born, in the interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear’. Is it more true to the Gospel to let this Christendom-encrusted model pass into history? I know Rowan has had similar thoughts.

Thing is, as my wife points out, I know that I wouldn’t be feeling like this if I was at my normal level of strength. And I would tend to see this as ‘the devil’s got his grip on me at the moment’. There are certainly still times when I get filled with enthusiasm about what might be possible through parish work. Yet I have to also acknowledge that I’ve begun to occasionally entertain thoughts of throwing the whole lot in and saying ‘to hell with it’, not least because I’ve never had to struggle with ill-health so consistently since I started work in a parish. I’d become an NSM priest, retrain as either a teacher or a psychotherapist and continue to pursue God with all my heart. I’d continue to read and write (and blog and take photos) but I’d no longer feel so obligated to be nice to those who are incapable of taking Christianity seriously, nor would I have to continually compromise with the world in order to keep within canon law. Or is this just an illusory dream of freedom? I’d certainly not want to join another ecclesiastical establishment; I remain profoundly Anglican in my bones.

Harrumph! My wife thinks I’m going through a bit of a mid-life crisis. As I say, when I feel better physically I’m sure I’ll feel more positive spiritually. But I think this is one of those ventings of spleen that is better out than in.

Very sharp

Mad Priest on good form

An open evangelical is a Christian who, literally, “opens” the Bible, reads it and believes every word it says.

A conservative evangelical doesn’t need to “open” the Bible. He has already decided what the Bible says – “It says what it has always said.”

I’ve managed to get out of bed today, which is progress, though I’m still distinctly under-the-weather. I hope in particular to be well on Saturday morning as I have a major parish event to handle. In the meantime I’m catching up on some blog reading/ newspaper reading, and this issue with Elaine Storkey I find fascinating. What I said to Tim in a comment is relevant here – it’s not that I want to kick the conservatives out or break communion with them, it’s more the other way around. In some small way I think that making my understanding of authority explicit clarifies this underlying issue.

I feel a Maggie Thatcher moment coming on…

Just to explain that cryptic comment a few months ago 😉

I’m coming to the conclusion that the present distribution of parish share, most particularly as it affects the Mersea Benefice, is unfair not proportionate or reasonable, and that this has consequences for both my health and the health of the communities in which I serve.

First graph, with Mersea in dark blue. This gives the relationship between parish share and stipendiary posts (ie diocese-paid) using 2007 parish share figures. St John’s pays the largest share but has two posts, hence they don’t show up so strongly.

Second graph, giving the relationship between full time posts and church membership size. This one is more intriguing, but the figures aren’t quite so reliable as they are a mix of usual Sunday attendance (for those churches that filled out the questionnaire for the Deanery Plan) or Electoral Roll, which is rather a different number. However the larger churches did fill out the forms, so if anything this graph exaggerates the size of the smaller churches. Again, bear in mind that St John’s is divided by two, although it is (only just, grin!) the largest church in the Deanery.

This final table is simply re-ordering the data, using 2008 parish share figures, to give an indication of what each patch ‘pays’ for a clergyman. Again, bear in mind that the St John’s figure is half their parish share.

Deanery Balance 2008

Name of Benefice

2008 share/ftsp – ascending order

Greenstead St Andrew

12678.5

Colchester St Barnabas Old Heath

21708

Colchester New Town & The Hythe St Steph St Mary Mag & St Leonard

27456

Fingringhoe St Andrew

31337

Berechurch St Margaret w. St Michael

33528

Myland St Michael

36880

Colchester St Peter & St Botolph

40082.67

Shrub End All Saints w St Cedds

42570

Colchester, St James & St Paul w All Saints, St Nicholas & St Runwald

46918

Wivenhoe St Mary Vn

48004

Colchester Christ Church w St Mary at the Walls

52391

Colchester St John & St Luke

60043.5

Lexden St Leonard

79033

Mersea Benefice

82587

A different way to put this is to say that the Mersea benefice transfers around £50k into the central pot. Or, to explore that from a different direction, the Mersea benefice is equivalent to two other benefices put together – say Shrub End plus Fingringhoe (which would then match the number and variety of churches).

Is this reasonable? It’s true that there is now a large staff team here, but a) the associate priest is paid for by the parish (ie not included in the above figures) and subsidised by a former member of the congregation, an arrangement which won’t last for ever; and b) the system is kept in place by the support of a number of retired clergy – and is it fair to expect the system to keep going on the backs of those who have already given their life in ministry to the church? And there are other questions as well – nobody I speak to disputes the need for the stronger parishes to support the weaker, but at what point does that obligation become fulfilled? If places like Mersea (and Lexden and St John’s) are the ones upholding the diverse ministry across the Colchester area, does that support need to be done in the way it presently is done, or can it be done differently? And what happens when the this transfer of wealth becomes directly damaging to the donors, ie it inhibits the strengthening and development of mission in their own communities? That sounds like a recipe for locking-in decline.

In other words, is the present system of parish share – a classic example of mid-20th century state socialism – the best way to support ministry, or would we be better off going back to a pattern of livings, whereby those ministries that were successful and prospered were able to reinforce their success by direct funding and control of further mission? My suspicion is strongly that the existing system will soon collapse (because of wider economic trends as much as anything else) and that more historic system will re-emerge. Then we shall have Mersea Minster as the central resource for discipleship and worship in the area south of Colchester. I find that prospect rather encouraging.

Eager longing (December Synchroblog)

We have three small children – the eldest just five and a half – and you can imagine the sense of anticipation that is building as Christmas hoves into view. Now, given my views on commercial culture (see my LUBH talks) you might think that the way in which the children are so focused on ‘presents’ is something to be repudiated or frustrated. And yet, there is something here that is worth redeeming. And that is hope.

For what the kids are doing is looking forward to something. They don’t know quite what it is – they’ve had all sorts of hints – but they are excited by it all, and it all seems a little bit magical. And then there is the day itself, with lots of celebrations and opening of presents and lots and lots of fun.

Now it may well be that the attention given to presents – most especially the attention given to the receiving of presents, rather than the giving – is something that needs to be grown out of. But what is now clear to me is that this time is all about the hope and longing for something to come into a life – and that it is very important and healthy to nurture that hope.

Imagine that such things were squashed and made pious; that such longings were replaced by more acceptable and formulaic religiosity. Something utterly essential would be lost. For that eager longing is something needed in our world. Some sense of possibility – that things will soon change – that we can achieve or obtain what we most desire – that seems to me to be healthy, and the adult expression of it – what we need when we consider the state of our world, what we need in order to deal with the state of our world – that is built on the foundations of small boys filled with eager longing for a castle, or a digger, or an Action Man.

We need to nurture our eager longings. That way we might one day be revealed as children ourselves.

~~~

A synchroblog is when a number of different bloggers agree to write on the same topic at the same time (I missed that last element this month).
Redeeming the Season is the Topic for this month’s SynchroBlog. Now there are a variety of seasons being celebrated at the end of each year from Christmas to Hannukah to Eid al-Adha and Muharram, from the Winter Solstice to Kwanzaa and Yule. Some people celebrate none of these seasonal holydays, and do so for good reason. Below is a variety of responses to the subject of redeeming the season. From the discipline of simplicity, to uninhibited celebration, to refraining from celebrating, to celebrating another’s holyday for the purpose of cultural identification the subject is explored. Follow the links below to “Redeeming the Season.” For more holidays to consider see here

Recapturing the Spirit of Christmas at Adam Gonnerman’s Igneous Quill
Swords into Plowshares at Sonja Andrew’s Calacirian
Fanning the Flickering Flame of Advent at Paul Walker’s Out of the Cocoon
Lainie Petersen at Headspace
The Battle Rages at Bryan Riley’s Charis Shalom
Secularizing Christmas at JohnSmulo.com
There’s Something About Mary at Hello Said Jenelle
Geocentric Versus Anthropocentric Holydays at Phil Wyman’s Square No More
Celebrating Christmas in a Pluralistic Society at Matt Stone’s Journeys in Between
The Ghost of Christmas Past at Erin Word’s Decompressing Faith
Redeeming the season — season of redemption by Steve Hayes
Remembering the Incarnation at Alan Knox’ The Assembling of the Church
A Biblical Response to a Secular Christmas by Glenn Ansley’s Bad Theology
Happy Life Day at The Agent B Files
What’s So Bad About Christmas? at Julie Clawson’s One Hand Clapping

God hates you for all eternity

My worry is: this seems obviously absurd and way beyond parody. But – how many people outside the church see normal Christianity in this way? In other words – the stuff that (some) Christians think ‘normal’ – do outsiders see something like this? Are these people simply exhibiting an extreme version of something at the centre of mainstream faith?

“And on the cross as Jesus died the wrath of God was satisfied….”

+John Chelmsford on Bishops

“The Bishop, within the bounds of what is properly lawful, sets the conditions for ordination and for the pastoral oversight of clergy and all who hold his licence. No one, under their oath of obligation, can turn round and say that they are not willing to accept the rule the Bishop makes and expect, nevertheless, to proceed to ordination.”

(via Chelmsford Anglican Mainstream)

For background on why +John is saying this, go here. In essence, an ordinand refused to share communion with Bishop John, and so Bishop John is not prepared for him to be ordained in his Diocese. Which seems fair enough to me.

November Synchroblog on church and money

Couldn’t participate in this one this month – but very interesting topic.

November SynchroBlog
What happens when you put two taboo subjects together and discuss their relationship with each other? Find out by following the links to this month’s SynchroBlog. Money and Church is the topic. Do you think they belong together? or is it a problem when they meet? Follow the links, and watch the fur fly!

Guitars in worship

bls has launched a C.H.O.C.T.A.W. manifesto, for the avoidance of crap worship. This is something I have a lot of sympathy with – and yet I am presently being accused of precisely that because I am encouraging – nay, I am insisting – on the use of the guitar in our principal communion service. Click ‘full post’ for a preview of an article in our upcoming parish magazine which explains why. See also this post (via *Christopher) for another point of view, and the comments there for yet more!


There are few things that are more likely to cause disagreement amongst Christians than questions to do with the use of music in worship. Consider this cartoon – as the saying goes – music is too important to be left to the musicians (grin). However, putting on a more serious hat, I would like to say something about the use of the guitar for some songs in the 11am communion service, as this has been causing pain to some members of the congregation. This may take a little time as it touches on very central elements of the faith.

It may be argued that it is never appropriate to use a guitar in the context of a church worship service. This I see as a very weak argument, for a rapid survey of church history will demonstrate that stringed instruments have a much deeper and stronger relationship with Jewish and Christian worship than has, for example, the organ. There are enough Scriptural references for people to be familiar with (try the last few psalms for a starting place) but consider this passage:

“It happened on Sunday after Christmas – the last Sunday they played in Longpuddle church gallery, as it turned out, thought they didn’t know it then. As you may know, sir, the players formed a very good band – almost as good as the Mellstock parish players that were led by the Dewys, and that’s saying a great deal. There was Nicholas Puddingcome, the leader, with the first fiddle; there was Timothy Thomas, the bass-viol man; John Biles, the tenor fiddler; Dan’l Hornhead, with the serpent; Robert Dowdle, with the clarionet; and Mr Nicks, with the oboe – all sound and powerful musicians, and strong-winded men – they that blowed. For that reason they were very much in demand Christmas week for little reels and dancing parties; for they could turn a jig or a hornpipe out of hand as well as ever they could turn out a psalm, and perhaps better, not to speak irreverent. In short, one half-hour they could be playing a Christmas carol in the squire’s hall to the ladies and gentlemen, and drinking tay and coffee with ’em as modest as saints; and the next, at the Tinker’s Arms, blazing away like wild horses with the ‘Dashing White Sergeant’ to nine couple of dancers or more, and swallowing rum-and-cider hot as flame.”
(From A FEW CRUSTED CHARACTERS by Thomas Hardy)

The particular form of worship used within a church changes over time – it always has done and always will. The particular style of music used here in West Mersea for the 11am was principally shaped by the Victorians, who were responsible for introducing robed choirs (imported from 17th century Italy). The question of principle is whether that style of music is necessarily the right one to adopt today, bearing in mind the purposes that music is used for. There is some unanimity on that score: some months ago the Worship Committee agreed that “the role of music is to support, enhance, enable and – occasionally – to express the worship of the congregation”. The issue is therefore whether the use of the guitar is something which enables a congregation to worship; but that itself begs the more fundamental question: what is the congregation at the 11am service?

One of the principal changes that has come about in the last few years here at St Peter’s and St Paul’s is the development of the 9:30 congregation. The liturgy at the 9:30 was specifically designed to be simpler and more accessible to the newcomer, and the music more modern. When the service was launched there was no clarity about whether it would succeed or not, or whether there would be much of a demand for it or not. Manifestly there was both a desire for such a service and it has been tremendously successful. Yet the consequence is that the overall balance of the church’s life has altered – and that has to affect the 11am service.

The 11am service is the principal Holy Communion offered in this church. It is the place where Christians who are separated through the week can gather and break bread together – as Christians have done since the very beginning. Whilst I am very happy that some of our services can be seen as ‘niche’ services, whereby those who desire particular forms of worship can have those desires met, I believe it would destroy our unity in the faith if the 11am service became a ‘niche’ service in that way. The purpose of the 11am is to be the ‘big tent’ whereby as many Christians as possible can come together for the breaking of the bread. That will inevitably mean that no one group within the church will be completely content with what is offered, whether that be “traditionalists” who dislike the guitar, “9:30ers” who don’t like choral anthems, or the Rector who mourns the absence of incense. Yet this is no bad thing – we are called to love our neighbours as ourselves and if we are only prepared to worship with those who are just like us then we have failed to recognise the Body of Christ (see 1 Corinthians 11.29 – and it has the consequences that Paul describes in that passage).

As a consequence of these two things – a change in the balance of our overall church congregation, and the necessity for the 11am service to be a spiritual home for as many brothers and sisters as we can achieve – we have begun to explore different ways of doing the 11am service, so that it more accurately reflects the nature of the whole congregation, not just the existing 11am attenders. There is no point in having a principal communion service if the nature of that service is such as to actively exclude large swathes of the church body. This is still a work-in-progress, and is tied up with the re-ordering of the sanctuary. It will take quite a few more months before we are in a position to see where the 11am service will be, although those who attended the recent ‘9:15 Morning Praise with Holy Communion’ will have a good idea of how I would like to see the 11am service develop.

There are undoubtedly times when, as we have explored a different way to do the 11am, we have tried something new and it hasn’t worked. That is my fault as I am the one pushing the exploration, sometimes over the objections of the musicians! Yet I don’t believe that God is opposed to exploration and failure – there would be nothing worth redeeming if that was the case. Whatever the birth-pains associated with the introduction of the guitar into the 11am service I do see it as absolutely essential to the long term spiritual health of the church that we embrace the guitar – and the flute and the piano and the violin – and the choir and the soloist and the organ – that, in short, we embrace each other at the 11am service. This is our common meal, where the church family says grace and shares with each other. There will always be jostling and elbow-jabs but that is what makes us who we are: a Christian community, learning what it means to love one another as our Lord loves us.